With the year swiftly coming to an end, I have been reflecting some on the changes have taken place in my life. As I have spoken and written much about my trials and tribulations regarding the death of Kristine and the massive changes that I have been going through, I haven’t taken much time to write about what good has come out of all these changes.
I know what most of you are thinking, “what good could have come out of her death”? or something like “there must be something really wrong with him to think that her death could result in anything good”? My answer to this is that the more I reflect on what Kristine gave to me, which includes the business, the bills, the care of her family and the people she worked with for so many years, I feel that in whole has made me a better man.
A few years ago I thought my life had been planned out? I would live comfortably in the small Lake Michigan town of Frankfortwith my beautiful and loving wife. The children would go to college and both become successful in life along with raising children of their own. I would work in the television industry or somehow be involved in video production which I have always loved doing, and Kristine would continue to take care of the people that she loved so dearly.
With that said, the dream was only that, but recent changes in my plan for life has actually made me want to be a better human being. It has given me more self worth than I have ever felt or had in my life.
Yesterday, I received a catalog in the mail with video and lighting equipment for sale. It got me thinking about how much I enjoy working in the video medium, that I miss the whole creative aspect of it. It’s a little odd that I feel torn between my life working in the television field and my new life as a care giver and business owner? Even though my career path has changed, I feel very accomplished with both careers. I have become one damn good caregiver and I do love and care for every single person I work with, Kristine gave that to me. Maybe someday I will once again work with video, either professionally or for personal use, but for now I’m happy with what I’m doing?
While listening to the radio the David Bowie song Changes began to play. While listening to the song a lyric really stuck out to me “Just gonna have to be a different man…Time may change me, I but I can’t trace time”. This is my new life, its changed me for the better, and as time passes I will change with it, hopefully for the better.
Cool read.
I’ll see what I can do about sending you some socks:)